Many years ago, when I was a new mom of only one child, I decided it would be a good idea to sign my son up for a baby swimming class. I remember the first class as if it was yesterday. We didn't actually even make it to the class. I hectically pulled up to the YMCA and was attempting to get my one child out of the car. I was trying to think of all the things I might need for this class and realized I had not gotten. Then I looked up and it was a scene from Night of the Living Dead. There coming at me was what I called then the "Super Moms". They were calmly walking across the parking lot. Kids in hand. Bags neatly packed with what I was sure was everything their children could possibly need for their class. I was so intimidated I didn't even get out of the car that day. I buckled David back in and drove away.
So 10 years later and now with 4 kids I have come a long way. On most days. Lately I have been a little more stressed then usual having added to the many things I have to accomplish each day the care of my aging father. I have found myself once again wondering if I am doing a good job with my kids. Looking at other moms and comparing.
I took David to his speech evaluation last week. As it seems to be the case lately I was running late. I rush everyone out of the car singing our late song from Alice in Wonderland. We're late, We're late, for a very important date, no time to say hello, goodbye we're late, we're late, we're late. We run into the office in what seemed to me a frenzied mess. There in the waiting room is one of those "Super Moms" from my early mothering years. Hair just right, nice clothes, her polite son playing quietly with toys while she discusses his session with the therapist. Then we walk in with a burst of energy. I spent the hour I was in the waiting room while my son was in therapy wishing I could be more like this mom.
But a funny thing happened about a week later. I was sitting at a table at Sam's Club, our favorite cheap lunch place, with my children. I was marveling at my son who had just gotten his own drink at the soda fountain and was politely chatting with a man while pouring his drink and said Merry Christmas to him when they were done. My children were actually calmly sitting and eating when I looked over and saw this same mom from speech sitting there with her two children. The scenario was much different this time. Her hair was pulled up in a pony tail and she had on gym clothes. She was obviously in a hurry and desperately trying to get her children to put their coats on.
All I could do was sit there and smile. I was not smiling at the fact that she was having a rough day. I was smiling at how silly it is for me to be so hard on myself. I was smiling at my ability to look at her and see so much of myself and how silly it is for me to get so stressed out. I looked at her and said I know how you feel. She flashed me a smile of gratitude and we shared a short conversation of the difficulties of motherhood.
So now that I have taken the time to sit and write this blog this morning I am behind and will probably be running late to David speech today. But I am going to try and keep a better perspective on life today. We all have different pressures in this life but we are all essentially going through the same thing. So today instead of judging and comparing myself to others I will try to remember that we should be trying to go through it helping each other.
